


Rough Day

by pantheon_of_discord



Series: Season 13 Codas [15]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angel Healing, Angst, Coda, Drinking, Episode: s13e19 Funeralia, Kissing, M/M, Post-Episode: s13e19 Funeralia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-20
Updated: 2018-04-20
Packaged: 2019-04-25 07:43:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14374122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pantheon_of_discord/pseuds/pantheon_of_discord
Summary: It takes Castiel a long time to rise from the sandbox and start walking back to his truck. As he trudges by, Indra passes the bottle wordlessly, his expression empty. There’s still grit on Castiel’s fingers when he reaches out and takes it.He doesn’t look back as Indra opens the gates for the final time and crosses through.The alcohol doesn’t do anything, of course, other than provide a welcoming burn in his chest. It isn’t pain, but it’s proof, proof of being. Strange now, how important that is – to feel alive.





	Rough Day

It takes Castiel a long time to rise from the sandbox and start walking back to his truck. As he trudges by, Indra passes the bottle wordlessly, his expression empty. There’s still grit on Castiel’s fingers when he reaches out and takes it.

He doesn’t look back as Indra opens the gates for the final time and crosses through.

The alcohol doesn’t do anything, of course, other than provide a welcoming burn in his chest. It isn’t pain, but it’s proof, proof of being. Strange now, how important that is – to feel alive.

The burn keeps him warm all the way home.

It’s late, but the lights are still on in the kitchen. Castiel heads down without pause, relying on the front door to announce his arrival.

Dean is rooting around in the fridge, his back to the door, but he turns around as Cas steps into the room. His face is largely obscured by a pack of frozen peas.

“Hey, look who got outta Heaven alive,” he says, lowering his arm to reveal a colourful array of cuts and bruises. The peas aren’t doing much to remedy the swelling on his cheek and forehead. “Want a beer?”

“Yes,” Castiel says, without hesitation. Dean looks surprised, but Castiel merely turns and slides to the floor, resting his back against the kitchen island.

He hears Dean reach back into the fridge. “Alright, just to be on the safe side,” he says, then a moment later he plops down on the floor with an entire six-pack. “How’d it go?”

Castiel doesn’t answer, just twists the top off one of the bottles and starts draining it.

“That good, huh?” Dean says, as Castiel finishes it off.

“We need to find Gabriel,” Castiel says, reaching for another bottle.

Dean frowns. “Uh, yeah. Thanks for the newsflash.”

“I mean _we_ ,” Castiel says. “Heaven can’t help us. Not with this.”

“You kidding me? What, the God Squad can’t muster up a handful of –”

“No, Dean, they can’t.” Castiel closes his eyes. He downs the second bottle, but it doesn’t burn like whatever Indra had. “They don’t have the manpower.”

Dean’s voice is confused. “Whaddyou –”

“Nine,” Castiel says, and the word echoes around the kitchen like a death knell. “There are nine angels left.”

It’s obvious from his tone that Dean still doesn’t understand. “Whaddyou mean? Left where?”

“Anywhere,” Castiel says. He opens his eyes, but doesn’t turn his head. He’s finding it a lot easier to stare at the kitchen’s open doorway. “Everywhere. In all the universe, there are only nine angels.”

“No,” Dean says slowly. “That can’t be right. No way.”

If it weren’t the end of the world, Castiel would laugh. He wishes he could have Dean’s flat denial. Wishes there was something he could cling to, something like hope. “Perhaps one or two more, but still fewer than a dozen.” He finally turns and looks Dean in the eye. “Would you like to know how many I’ve killed?”

Dean swallows visibly. “Hey man, don’t go there right now.”

“I’m a member of an endangered species, Dean.” Still chasing the burn, he reaches for another bottle. “And I’m largely responsible. Trust me – I’ve done the math.”

There’s nothing that can be said to that, they both know it. After a moment, Dean reaches out for another beer too, and they sit in silence for a long while.

“So what do we do?” Dean finally says. “There’s gotta be a way. . . it can’t just end like that.”

Castiel shrugs. “If we find Gabriel, he could help. He could make new angels. But without him. . .”

There’s silence again as Dean knocks back another beer. “Damn, man. I’m sorry.” He lets out a long exhale. “I just. . . after everything, I mean, everything we’ve seen. Who’d’ve thought Heaven would go whimper, not bang.”

Not a drop of liquor has passed his lips, but Castiel suddenly feels that burn in his chest again. Quirking his lips in a smile, he turns again and takes in Dean’s battered face.

Dean shrugs. “What? I read.”

Castiel moves without thinking. He reaches up with one hand, tracing a light finger across Dean’s forehead. Dean pulls back a bit, surprised, but Castiel chases after.

“I did this to you,” he says, almost to himself.

Dean shakes his head, looking a little disconcerted. “Uh, no, this was some ‘roided-up goon of Rowena’s.”

“Not now,” Castiel says absently, his finger drifting down to Dean’s temple. “A long time ago. I was reminded today. . .” Before he can change his mind, Castiel leans in. “I never really apologized.”

Dean pulls back a hair more, but Castiel keeps moving forward, closer and closer until finally their mouths touch.

At first it’s soft, feather-light, but the kiss deepens as Castiel sends slow waves of healing grace through his lips. He brings a gentle hand up to Dean’s jaw, and feels the cuts close beneath his fingers.

After a long moment he pulls away, opening his eyes to find Dean staring back at him, his face healed.

“The hell you doin’?” he mumbles.

Castiel cracks half a smile, leans in, and whispers, “It’s the end of the world.”

**Author's Note:**

> HEY GUYS LOOK I'M BACK POSTING CODAS
> 
> Sorry I've been away, but I've been rather uninspired with the last handful of episodes. 
> 
> THAT ALL CHANGED TONIGHT THANK YOU YOCKEY BLESS YOU
> 
> Anyway, y'all are great, here's [my tumblr](https://pantheonofdiscord.tumblr.com) if ya wanna be friends.


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